So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
