im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
