Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
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