I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
