see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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