Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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