the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
