yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
