is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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