ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
