How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
