In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
