just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
