yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
