he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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