She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
