She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
