I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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