The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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