I want to have your abortion
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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