this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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