Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize