quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Randomize
