that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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