I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
