my soul wont recognize me after tonight
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Randomize