I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
