This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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