I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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