I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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