A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
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It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
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SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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