i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
