Apparently you make a good broom.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
