i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I want her autograph on my taint
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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