I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
