I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
