U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
