and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
It's shark week go big or go home
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
