ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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