I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
