He had one of those small greek statue penises
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
