My first STD was from a foam party
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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