he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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