The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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