did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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