it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
The feeling are messing with the penis
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize