and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
