I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
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I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
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You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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