Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
what day is it and did you see me today?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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