why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
