I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
that's an acceptable place to lick
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
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Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
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...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
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