I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
