He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
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I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
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We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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