Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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