I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
