first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
