brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
