What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
