I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Randomize
