You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
