You were right. It hurts to walk today.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
