HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
